The best sandwich in the world

Imagine, if you will…a sandwich so powerful, so tasty, so UNbelievable, that your life would be forever changed with 1 bite.

I took that bite and I’m a different person because of it.

Unfortunately, I didn’t capture this beauty on camera.  However, I did draw an incredible likeness of the sammy:

Layers of pesto, arugula, fresh juicy tomato, red onion, cheese, and TURKEY!  Oh, the pepper turkey!  All on a french baguette.

Amen.

 

What have you eaten recently that deserved an “amen” or even a “yeah, buddy”?  

-Mads

p.s. This was hilarious in the midst of an 8 hour lecture.  I realize the comedic value might be lost once my sanity returns.

p.p.s. Wouldn’t it be awesome if this is what the “Cooking” section of The Pioneer Woman’s blog was like?  hahahaha I have a feeling she might lose several thousands of readers.  I hope I don’t lose you to this.

 

Apeman found in cave!

Me: Has there ever been an attempt to make a human monkey baby?

Jonathan: Like Planet of the Apes?

Me: No, I mean a legitimate attempt to breed a human monkey baby.  They can make ligers, why not a human monkey baby?

Jonathan:  Think about what you are asking me.

Me:  I mean, I get that it’s not PC in this day and age, but they did all sorts of crazy experiments in the 50s.  Surely I’m not the only one who has thought of this.

Jonathan:  I’m done talking about this.

Me:  Will you please just look it up on your iPhone?

Jonathan: *sigh* Ok, I found something on Yahoo Answers.  Do you want to trust this?

Me: Absolutely.

“We are more closely related to chimps and bonobos than horses and donkeys are to each other, and it’s well-known that they can interbreed. There is a rumour that a certain scientist once impregnated a chimp using his own sperm, but got cold feet before the offspring was born and destroyed the animal. A human-ape hybrid is never likely to happen for moral and ethical reasons, supposing it’s possible at all, and a good thing too – imagine an animal with the strength and aggression of a chimp and the intelligence and capacity for evil of a human. It’d be lethal.”

-Source   

Me: I KNEW IT!  Wait, could you please repeat the last line?

Jonathan: “…imagine an animal with the strength and aggression of a chimp and the intelligence and capacity for evil of a human. It’d be lethal.”

Me: hahahaha OMG I WANT THIS HUMAN MONKEY BABY TO BE BORN!

Jonathan: You might not want to post that on your blog.  It seems highly unethical.

Me:  They’ll understand.

-Mads

Steve Buscemi Eyes

There is a new (or is it already old?) meme floating around the internet: Chicks with Steve Buscemi Eyes.

My friend, Tuan, has mad Photoshop skillz and decided to Steve Buscemeyes a few friends.

Here is the real Steve Buscemi, if you aren’t already familiar:

Click photo for source: Wikipedia

I’m going to share these next few images with you because I love you and because I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw them.

Jonathan looks shockingly like Smeagol.

Here’s Josie:

So creepy.

And finally, me:

What’s your favorite internet meme?

-Mads

Bizarre encounters of the 3rd kind

I’ve been running into some crazies lately…

Apparently my unwashed face, workout bun, and yoga pants scream “Please ask me on a date!”  Sir, your lisp and gap-toothed smile do not exactly move me to accept your offer.

The tailor seemed excessively worried about my personal safety when I was a day late picking up my pants.  Lady, I’m fine.  I got swept up in the DVR for most of yesterday.  Wait, why am I explaining myself to you?

While I was out walking Josie somebody said, “I like dogs more than I like people.”  Grumpy old man, keep your thoughts to yourself.  I don’t like people either, but I especially don’t like strangers making me feel like I am the wrong species.

What is with people this week?  Is it a full moon or something?  Maybe I’m just out of practice interacting with humans.  I have been unemployed for many months now.

What bizarre encounters have you had recently?

-Mads

brains Brains BRAINS!

I have gotten 2 new hits on my blog from the search “In case of Zombie Apocalypse”.  I feel proud about that, but sad that the post it lead them to had nothing to do with zombies 😦

Luckily, I’m here to make up for that.

All of Mads’ current zombie knowledge:

1. The CDC finally got on the bandwagon and posted some zombie preparedness information.  Reading it got me legitimately nervous.

2.  The Bloggess pointed out what we all were thinking: why did they not include more information about swords as a protective measure?

3.  28 Days Later was a badass movie.

4.  I fear zombie apocalypse is closer than the rapture.  Why?  No, why not?

5.  Wikipedia and Carleton University suggest there would be no way mathematically to survive zombie apocalypse.  However, I’m fairly certain Zombieland directly contradicts that evidence.

6.  I was drunk and fell asleep while watching Zombieland, so I had to Google the ending.

That’s all I know, but I think it might help.

What’s your plan for zombie apocalypse?

-Mads

In case of Zombie Apocalypse

Heather, over at Adventures in Womanland, inspired me to share with you what I have been hoarding lately.  Maybe “hoarding” isn’t the right word.  Maybe “stockpiling in case of zombie attacks” is more appropriate.

In any case, this is what is overflowing in my kitchen right now:

Snapea Crisps. It says you should put these on salad, but I eat them like chips. Lettuce would just get in the way of my delicious chips.

This is the picture I wanted to post when I googled Snapea Crisps:

Snapeas Gone Wild. I have no idea who this is, but I love this picture. It says so much about who he is and who he wants to be...I think

Moving on…

 

Trader Joe’s Pizza Parlanno

In my mind, this is the perfect frozen pizza.  So superior to almost all brands.  However, if you don’t keep an eye on me, I will devour the entire thing and want to make a second one.  To prevent this, I like to pile on more and more veggies.  Peppers, onion, tomato, wilted spinach…will all do fine.

 

Laughing Cow cheeses. Finally a cheese that can prevent guilt and bring laughter. ?

Last, but not least…

 

Garbanzo beans

These puppies have been my new saving grace.  Perfect for quick homemade hummus, topping off a salad, or even covering with a can of store bought tikka masala sauce.  Shhh.  Don’t tell anyone, but I will probably never make homemade Indian food after finding a can of sauce that I like.  Shhhhhhhh!

I just now realized all of these things are fairly healthy.  Probably why I’ve lost 6 pounds in the past month.  Booyah grandma!

Seriously though, I need to be stockpiling dark chocolate.

Ooooo I think there are some Thin Mints left in the freezer.

Be back later.

om nom nom

-Mads