I don’t really experiment with drugs, and I would like to think my “heavy” drinking days have been over since college.
However, as soon as I read this article about the ban on Four Loko, I knew it was my destiny. For those of you unfamiliar with Four Loko, it is a 12% malt liquor caffeinated drink. Reports vary on the amount of caffeine, some say it’s equivalent to 1 cup of coffee, others say it’s closer to 3 cans of Red Bull. For this reason, it has been banned in several states due to reports of Four Loko-related hospital trips and deaths.
I get the ban. I do. Alcohol should probably have heavier restrictions on its sale and use, especially when said alcohol contains caffeine. It’s dangerous. No question.
That being said, the argument that Four Loko specifically targets under-age drinkers is ludicrous. I LOVE the marketing, and I’m 24! haha jk
Anyway, I was enjoying a harmless night of karaoke with friends and a few drinks, when my friend pulled out a can of Four Loko. The can itself is intimidating:
I took a sip and almost choked on the sugary sweet Jolly Rancher taste.
And then I had some more.
The group of us consumed about one can each and were overcome by an insatiable hunger for McNuggets. We discovered the 50 nuggets for $10 deal and devoured them instantly.
Jonathan drove my butt home as I begged for more food…Jack in the Box breakfast sandwiches, specifically. Luckily his sober self had more sense than to give me more food, and he sneakily drove me home without stops as I snoozed in the passenger’s seat.
Upon arrival home, I lacked all ability to stand (this, according to Jonathan). As my memory serves, there was a very specific reason I was on the kitchen floor…I just can’t quite remember what that reason was. Jonathan tried to help me up, and I squirted my water bottle all over him. I still chuckle at that hahaha…he didn’t think it was so funny.
I went to bed and woke up feeling awesome and energized for the day. Seriously.
I immediately went to Facebook to share with my friend who had purchased the Four Loko that I would never be partaking in that drink ever again. Only to find that I had mysteriously posted on her wall the night before, “no loco likey. ever.”
One of my friends said he had a hard time sleeping because his heart was pounding out of his chest. Terrifying!
Tuan was credited as saying “Loko Mads” was actually “Five Loko Mads”…when you’ve had 1 Loko too many.
I’m not sure California will ever ban Four Loko or force them to remove the caffeine from the product ingredients, but I have officially banned it in my home. My heart and brain will appreciate it in the long-run. Probably my liver too. Jonathan will probably appreciate it most of all.
What’s your take on banning caffeinated booze drinks? Have you tried this horrible stuff?