What they don’t tell you about finding your wedding dress

Last weekend I went to shop for my wedding dress.  As a disclaimer to my post, I want you all to know that I hate shopping.  I really do.  I buy the majority of my goods online in order to avoid any mall situations and to be done with it.  I know it’s shocking, but it’s who I am.

That being said, I love the people I was with while shopping for my wedding dress and I love the dress itself.  BUT…the process was not the romantic cutesy stuff I was used to seeing on tv.

Without further ado, here’s a list of the top 5 things they don’t tell you about shopping for your wedding dress:

1) You don’t get champagne.  Maybe I went to a unique bridal salon, but I was expecting free champagne and instead came face to face with a “No Beverages” sign.  This was probably the biggest disappointment of the whole deal.

2) You don’t daintily step into each gown you try on.  For the majority of the time you will be sweating like a pig from shimmying your way into 100 pounds of fabric over and over again.  Then the consultant will pull you this way and that way trying to synch your fat into an hourglass shape and manhandling you with the “modesty panel”.

3) Your consultant won’t be Randy from “Say Yes to the Dress”.  My consultant decided that I *needed* a white gown, even though I repeatedly said I wanted my dress to be champagne.  After trying on 30 white gowns, I finally bought the ONLY one she brought me in champagne.

4)  You will be forced to try on things you hate.  I was expecting some of this, but I didn’t realize how violent the reaction between my body and chiffon would be.  I mean, I was stuck somewhere between looking like the ghost of Christmas past and toga party.  It was a lose-lose situation.

5)  Everybody will cry the “ohmygodthisisit” cry and you will not understand.  You will feel like, “Maybe I will never feel that about a dress.  Maybe I’m being too picky.  This really isn’t The One, is it?  Can I go home yet?  I am going to wear a pantsuit.  Seriously, why is everyone crying about this dress?”

And then…finally…when you think all hope is lost…you will find Your Dress.  The One.  The Ohmygodthisisit.  And your friends and family will agree with you because it will be the first time you have smiled all afternoon.  And you will sigh a sigh of immense relief because you know how beautiful you feel and how happy you are going to be on your wedding day.

What’s your dress shopping story?  Or, are you looking forward to or dreading dress hunting?

-Mads

Desert Oasis: Palm Springs Outlets

Palm Springs is lovely this time of year.  I had never been, so I was expecting golf courses, extreme heat, and old geezers.  Instead, the desert oasis offered poolside relaxation, bumpin’ nightlife, and OUTLET MALLS!

(I said “outlet malls” like Oprah says things…you know, all shout-y and announcer-y)

The Cabazon Outlet Mall is the biggest I’ve ever seen!  They have everything from Gap to Armani to Le Creuset.  I had to avoid Le Creuset with every fiber of my being, mainly because some day I will have a registry and I will want to pepper it with Le Creuset.  Jonathan thinks it’s a “white person thing”, but I think it’s a cook’s dream.

Anyway, I really wanted to do an outfit collage for you, but it is next to impossible to find outlet items online.  Bummer.

I did, however, find a picture of my favorite purchase of the day: COACH BRIEFCASE!

Coach Signature Hudson Commuter Bag

The original price was $379, but I got this puppy for $160!  It quickly went from a want to a Must Have once I found out the price.  I figure it will be perfect for grad school and future job stuff (in my dreams I have a job).  At this rate, I will have to apply for jobs haha.

What’s your best recent purchase?  Do you love outlets as much as I do?

-Mads

Zappos Giveaway!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

My shoe situation is slowly improving.

If you know me, you know I wear those cheap Old Navy flip flops 95% of the time.  It’s sort of disturbing, especially since I am now considered “an adult” and should consider “professionalism” once I start doling out advice for $100 an hour (ok, so maybe I’ll never be a therapist, but it’s good to start planning ahead and buying the appropriate shoes).

Anyway…

I’ve swapped out some flip flop days for Grecian-style sandal days:

I also purchased my first pair of nude pumps.  I know these are “trendy” right now, but I feel like the shoes are so versatile that I will be able to wear them long past their trendy expiration date.

Apparently these shoes no longer exist on the internet...anywhere. Which is awesome because Josie just chewed the crap out of mine. *SUPER ANGRY EYEBROWS* Must. Shop. Online. Now. That will teach me to leave my shoes out after taking a picture for my blog. Gah.

I’ve written about my love for Zappos.com in the past, and it bears repeating.

Which is why I’m giving you the chance to win a $25 gift card to Zappos!

*To enter:

1-Comment here about your favorite pair of shoes.

2-Tweet and then leave a comment that you tweeted (@madsyjoy I want to win those shoes on La Petite Pancake http://tinyurl.com/63zzprg)

3- Blog about the giveaway and link back to me.

*Entries limited to the US

Winner will be announced Wednesday, July 20th.

-Mads

Gaga

I’ve mentioned my love for Gaga in the past, but from time to time I feel like I need to reiterate.

I. Love. Gaga.

She was on The View recently and discussed everything from her outfit choices to bullying to meeting the queen.

I understand why people don’t like her.

I do.

Sort of.

Ok, not really.

Anyway, I found this version of “Poker Face” today and fell in love.  It’s slow, jazzy, and soulful.  Check it out here:

 

Love,

Your Little Monster Mads

Grandma Nipples and The Case of the Sticky Kippah

In traditional Jewish weddings, the male guests wear a kippah (or yarmulke).  They are typically affixed to the top of the head with bobby pins, but it is quite a different story for bald attendees.  One of the male ushers ran into this problem, but quickly solved it with “Hollywood Tape”.

Tape it up

As he was taping up his head, we were approached by a 80+ year old woman.  She was pencil thin and wearing a floor-length, strapless cotton dress.  Something only Coco-T could keep up without superglue.

Our only response was, “By the beard of Zeus, give that woman all the tape you can find!”

Luckily, our bald friend is a gentleman…

At which point, half of the bridal party made a quick exit to spew and the other half gazed on in horror.

And THEN, Grandma Nipples *of course* needed assistance.  Our friend, Ems, stepped up to the plate.

I both love and hate old people.

-Mads