What they don’t tell you about planning a wedding

The wedding draws near.  I meant for that to sound crypt-keeper-esque, but I don’t think that translates through the internet.  It’s not so much scary, as it is insane.  Especially when I think about how quickly 3 and 1/2 months flies by.  Couple that with the fact that we haven’t even picked out our invitations?  It’s bananas.

I had bananas for breakfast.  Not the same.

There are a billion things they don’t tell you about wedding planning before you dive into it headfirst.  You always hear things like, “blah blah blah bridezilla”, “blah blah blah so much work”, “blah blah blah crazy family drama”, but nobody ever gives you specifics.  And I have a sneaking suspicion that’s true for childbirth too, but we won’t go there today.

In the spirit of keeping it real, here are some things they don’t tell you about wedding planning:

1) Nobody gives a crap about your DIY table numbers.  Will they look fabulous and make people go “aww”?  Maybe.  Will anybody care that you didn’t spend $200 and 15 hours of your life hot glue gunning the shit out of your living room?  No.  They will not be missed.

2) The free catered tasting is the best part of wedding planning.  Shoveling your face with 5 different entree options and chugging back 4 different wine options puts you in a happy place.  Would you like a mini margarita to start your meal?  Yes, yes, I would.

3) Your future husband has opinions.  Crazy, right?  This is a bummer to women who have been planning dream weddings since they popped out of the womb.  However, this is a really cool thing for women who haven’t given any thought to their wedding (i.e., me).

Case and point: Jonathan wants us to ride into dinner on Segways. Pure genius.

4) Bridal magazines will become useless the moment you actually start planning your wedding.  You quickly realize that you could endlessly plan magazine weddings, but nothing you find in there is actually realistic.  It also becomes quickly apparent that you don’t have to listen to the advice of others.

Enjoy that can of Natty Light because that's who you are.

5) It’s important to register in the store rather than online.  Why?  Because they give you free stuff!  Sometimes just registering for cutlery gets you a free knife, etc.  Also, registering in the store will save you a ton of time.  Trust me.

6) Shop around.  With everything.  Love that understated hair comb at the bridal boutique?  Save yourself $300 by buying it on Etsy for $12.  This might sound like a no-brainer, but it really can be a lifesaver.

Ultimately, do whatever is fun and easy for you.  If you are a crafter and nothing would please you more than to origami your invitations, then do that.  If you want to wear a blue dress because you look stunning in blue, then do that.  People will be more comfortable and happy at your wedding if you are comfortable and happy at your wedding.

The best part in all of this madness is that I get to marry my sweetiemonkeypants.  The rest of it is just a big fun party dedicated to us!  How totally cool!

7) Don’t lose sight of the big picture.  Stop and take the time to be engaged and happy.

What do you wish you would have known before planning your wedding?  What did you have at your wedding that was totally “you”?

-Mads

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8 thoughts on “What they don’t tell you about planning a wedding

  1. Great advice! Except for the Natty Light. I wouldn’t expect to see that at a wedding reception unless it was an Indy 500 themed wedding, and I’m hoping you’re not going there. My Baby’s wedding day was SPECtacular. She kept the ceremony short & simple and focused on the party afterwards, and because of that, we all had the best time. Most fun wedding ever. How many MOTB’s get to say that? Have fun – that’s the part you’ll remember most, Mads.

  2. The only thing that I really wish I would have known was to shop around for the veil. I was so sure that if I walked out of the dress shop without the veil that I would never find the perfect one again. Mind you, I removed the veil portion immediately after the ceremony, but I kind of wish I had some photos of me wearing it at the reception.

    What did we do that was totally us? When is comes down to it, we are beer & pizza folk, so our rehearsal dinner was beer & our favorite pizza at our house. Nice & relaxing. Like NanaBread’s Baby, we poured most of our efforts into the reception. The day of, we had the best food we could afford, and a great DJ so we danced all night and no one left hungry. 🙂

  3. good stuff! i got married in august and when i started planning i quickly realized i wasn’t a typical bride. the blogs and magazines did little for me, just had to do it my own way. as long as you make it your own and add some creativity you’re good to go, in my book.

  4. The most important thing I learned was to take everyone’s opnion with a grain of salt. If you and your fiance like it, then do it. No one’s opinion should matter more than your own. I also learned that people’s true colors come out and everyone will want you to do what they want no questions asked. It sounds silly, but our wedding was the biggest relationship tester that we ever had, it made me realize who my true friends were and who actually matters in my life.
    One thing that I found that I will pass on to every bride I know is weddingwire.com. They have the most amazing resources. Their guest list feature is GREAT! You can put a family by their names, then what they want to eat at dinner, what they gave you as a gift, what their address is and MOST importantly where they are sitting. Weddingwire.com has an electronic seating chart where you can just drag and drop people in their chairs and then print it out (or use it to print place cards). It was the most convenient thing!

    It’s nearly impossible but try not to stress yourself out too much!

    The thing we did that was totally “us” was making cake pops, not just a few, 400! It was SO time consuming and tiring, but it was totally worth it. People talk about them to this day (it’s almost been 6 months!) I really wanted our “favors” to be something home made that people would enjoy and not just toss to the side later.

    I love your blog by the way! Keep on writin!

  5. All I can say is that all of this makes me feel very old!! When I got married, 16 SHORT years ago, there simply wasn’t all of the resources (especially internet-kind!) out there. Our wedding seems so basic and (honestly a bit boring :)) now when I hear about all that people do!
    We did have a lovely ceremony, and fun reception…but I just don’t know if I could go through it all in this day and age!! You hang in there!!!! Love your suggestions–you’re on the right track!

  6. I just got engaged a week or so ago and this post has been so helpful! I have never thought about weddings before, so I am seriously the most ill-prepared bride. I’m still trying to enjoy the engagement and everyone is stressing me out with their questions of “when and where.” I’ve been doing a lot of shrugging lately.

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