Transformations

If you didn’t already know, I’m going to school to become a therapist.  You know, the kind that help other people work through their issues.  Shocking?  Perhaps.  Overwhelming?  Definitely.

I’m reading this wonderful book called, On Being a Therapist, by Jeffrey Kottler.  If you’re in a helping profession, I highly recommend it.

Anyway, he wrote something that has really stuck with me for the past week:

“It’s as if some practitioners believe that therapy and ongoing growth and development are for others, but not for themselves…What sort of hypocrites have we become when we ask people to do things that we are unwilling or unable to do ourselves?”  

The first time I read it, I told myself, “Yeah.  Those therapists with major issues should get help for themselves.”

But then I spent a few more minutes hours days thinking about it, and realized that I am one of those hypocrites.  I don’t share my emotions with others.  I shut out my own feelings all of the time.  (a few cocktails might bring out some “truths”, but that’s the extent of it)  How can I possibly expect my clients to share their feelings with me, if I’m unable to do so in my own life?

Basically, this realization shook me to my core and I decided to do something about it.  So for the past 72 hours, I have been sharing.  And I’m exhausted.

I don’t want this blog to turn into my whiny diary, but I do want to open up more.  I’m not sure exactly what that will look like, but I wanted to let you know I am going through some changes and I might write about it from time to time.  I hope that doesn’t scare you.

It scares the poop out of me.

Has anything changed your outlook on life or yourself recently?  If you’re a blogger, how comfortable are you blogging about your real feelings?  

-Mads

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7 thoughts on “Transformations

  1. The cool thing about blogs is that they can be as personal as you want them to be. You don’t have to treat this as a confessional booth!

    I have noticed that in my own experience, especially with clergy, that people go into their own helping profession as a result of unpleasant experiences, and their profession helps them help others, even if they aren’t personal and over-sharing in their sermons. (okay that was a poorly written sentence, but does that make sense?)

    Also, I was thinking earlier this week about how little you’ve posted about wedding planning. After your epic take down of the dress buying experience, I thought you’d have more rants to share. Not sure if that falls under the “too personal” or “not personal enough” category though.

  2. Good for you to start sharing! It totally is emotionally exhausting – but it is so good for us to do. I try to be honest on my blog from time to time, but it is not my main place of sharing. I want readers to know me and be in my life, but I have a fashion blog so that would be odd to always be giving updates. Plus, some things are best to just be shared with a few people that are really in my life. I think it is always a learning process on sharing because it is not easy.
    Much love,
    B

  3. I’ve blogged about a few personal things and I always feel, during the first 24 hours after I publish, that I should take it down. Like it’s too much. But then I think, “What if someone else needs to know there’s someone else out there going through something similar?” So, I leave it. And, in the end, I feel better about it. People who know me, know what I’m going through. And people who don’t know me, know that they’re not going through it alone. So, yeah, that’s where I stand.

  4. I agree with Kaitlin. I always have writer’s remorse when I write something personal. I always get nervous about what people might think. If I don’t get comments within the first 24 hours, I start to think I’ve offended everyone and they’re going to hate me. Turns out, I’m much harder on myself than anyone else would ever be. What’s ironic is that I support others when they write about their personal issues, but I judge myself when I do. I’m slowly learning to let go and say what I feel. It may not always be popular, but at least it’s authentic. Be yourself, Mads. Share what you’re moved to share. The rest of it will fall into place.

  5. Like everyone else, I’m always ready to delete The Big Sharing Post. I think it’s because on the internet, you can’t gauge immediate facial reaction so silence can be so very deafening. Share away. Any crazy behavior that could have driven me out of your life would have happened years ago. xo

  6. Put me in the Got Your Back corner. Some of my most favorite blog reads are from others being really authentic with sharing who they are and what they are feeling. Although I understand the anxiety involved with putting your personal stuff out there for all the world to see. I always feel so good when I’m getting it all out in a post, but like the others, I freak out a little (OK, a lot) when I click “publish.” I’m just never sure if it will “translate” in print the way I’ve intended it in my head. (So hard when you can’t see facial expressions!) In the end though, I’m always pleasantly surprised at some seemingly “ordinary” things that I share that really strike a chord with others.

    Bottom line? Share what moves you at the moment. I look forward to it. 🙂

  7. I have written some personal posts (not super personal) but a little insight into my life… I find I obtain more readers afterwards…. There is always someone going through the same thing or that can relate. I have a couple posts I’ve written then chickened out before I hit publish…. who know maybe I will someday!

    Bring on the feelings we’ll all only like your blog more just because you’ve shared them!

    PS. I def had Natty Ice AND PBR at my wedding…..

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