If I were to put any thought or effort into Twitter, these might be what my tweets look like:
I haven’t showered in the past 36 hours. I want to make it to 48, but I have school 😦
Josie is officially 1 today! She got a “spa package” for her birthday, and I’m mostly excited that she no longer has rancid dog breath. Happy birthday!
Twitter is where I go to get my daily dose of comedy from friends and comedians. That being said, I didn’t find a single 9/11 joke funny. Terrorism doesn’t make me chuckle.
Know what does make me chuckle? The fact that Josie had her anal glands “expressed” by professionals yesterday.
The best part of wedding planning has to be wine tastings. We have to know what the guests will experience, right?
I feel like it’s been a really long time since the internet has had videos quite as hilarious as Double Rainbow and Bed Intruder. I wish I had a list of all of my favorite memes since the beginning of the internet.
You know that fake infomercial for the “neck basket“? Jonathan legitimately wants one. I’m not sure how to break the news…
What are your tweets for today?
Follow me on Twitter @madsyjoy