Bizarre encounters of the 3rd kind

I’ve been running into some crazies lately…

Apparently my unwashed face, workout bun, and yoga pants scream “Please ask me on a date!”  Sir, your lisp and gap-toothed smile do not exactly move me to accept your offer.

The tailor seemed excessively worried about my personal safety when I was a day late picking up my pants.  Lady, I’m fine.  I got swept up in the DVR for most of yesterday.  Wait, why am I explaining myself to you?

While I was out walking Josie somebody said, “I like dogs more than I like people.”  Grumpy old man, keep your thoughts to yourself.  I don’t like people either, but I especially don’t like strangers making me feel like I am the wrong species.

What is with people this week?  Is it a full moon or something?  Maybe I’m just out of practice interacting with humans.  I have been unemployed for many months now.

What bizarre encounters have you had recently?



9 thoughts on “Bizarre encounters of the 3rd kind

  1. Ha! I loved this post. It must be a moon cycle or something. TCP and I were in a store yesterday looking at pocket cameras. We decided on one, and asked the sales guy in the camera department for help. He comes over and asks which one we’re interested in, says something about a key and walks off. Minutes pass; can’t find him. We walk around the corner, and he’s there processing photos. TCP asks, ‘Hey…weren’t you going to get a key so we could see that camera?” He says (and I’m not kidding), ‘I called another guy to help you. He’s coming.’ SO when the new guys walks up to open the locked cabinet, the first guy comes back over and starts babbling on and on about the camera, although we only catch about every fourth word because he’s speaking at the speed of light and he has a thick Indian accent. Finally, he walks away to leave us with Guy #2 – an elderly man who just shakes his head and says ‘he sure talks a lot.’ We all laugh, but it was TOO SOON because the elderly man, with his hand on the key and the key in the lock, tells us his life story and how he’s worked in this store for 15 years and basically knows nothing about cameras. After an eternity (or 6-8 minutes), he finally removes the camera from the cabinet and hands it over. TCP opens the box, looks at it for about 10 seconds and says ‘we’ll take it.’ Done. Time in store: 25 minutes. Actual transaction: 27 seconds. We laughed about it all the way home.

  2. My roommate and I have been having an issue with a Peeping Tom lately and he actually walked up to our kitchen window to ask her to come over to his place to talk (I was in my room at the time). Um… we saw you looking at us from your window with binoculars two nights ago! Yes, let’s have a chat! Some people are sooooooo odd.

  3. At the local ‘hood Dunn Bros. Coffee this morning. The barista was complaining about a girlfriend and said, “She doesn’t know anything about anything”. Some guy gets up from a nearby table, comes over, grabs a napkin from the counter and says, “Doesn’t know anything about anything!”, then walks out. I’m feelin’ pretty good about myself today.

  4. Mads, I think you might be one of those lucky people who attract weirdoes. At Kim Huoy Chor, they don’t care if you never come pick up your clothes.

  5. I wish my drycleaner/tailor cared about more than the number on my Amex card…but nope. Consider yourself lucky my friend!

    I did run into my husband yesterday and chatting with him always resembles a close encounter…

  6. SO TRUE! I always find that the less thought I put into my appearance (including, you know, wearing clean clothes, brushing my hair), the more attention I get from strange men on the street! Why is that??

  7. There’s a certain homeless guy I know that always proposes to me (and any other female.) Although I’ve know him for a few years, he always asks my name, etc–kind of like Groundhog Day every time I see him.

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