Four pounds of BBQ pork should have lasted us a week, but it was gone in less than 48 hours. whoooooops *burp*
Heavy whipping cream is a perfectly reasonable substitute for milk in your morning smoothie.
I would pay someone to apply to jobs for me. Is that counterproductive? #willpayforwork
Sometimes I think pajama jeans are a great idea, and other times I remember that I have a modicum of self-respect.
Cargill is apparently to blame for my salmonella. It’s come full circle. #damntheman
Witnessed a homeless man yelling at dogs in the dog park to “keep it down” so he could have a noise-free nap downtown. So many things I want to say.
What is your day like in tweets?