Today in Tweets

Four pounds of BBQ pork should have lasted us a week, but it was gone in less than 48 hours.  whoooooops  *burp*

Heavy whipping cream is a perfectly reasonable substitute for milk in your morning smoothie.

I would pay someone to apply to jobs for me.  Is that counterproductive?  #willpayforwork

Sometimes I think pajama jeans are a great idea, and other times I remember that I have a modicum of self-respect.

Cargill is apparently to blame for my salmonella.  It’s come full circle.  #damntheman

Witnessed a homeless man yelling at dogs in the dog park to “keep it down” so he could have a noise-free nap downtown. So many things I want to say.

@TheBeardedIris turned me onto this Sandra Lee semi-homemade gem.

What is your day like in tweets?



14 thoughts on “Today in Tweets

  1. I blabber so much on Twitter that if I tried to look back it would take way too much scrolling! I’m also pretty sure that I’ve said nothing of any importance. 😉

    • It’s mostly the filling out of those personality inventories. I dread that part because I over-think it, and then I look like a serial killer or something.

  2. Why not outsource your job search? I think it’s brilliant. The only thing is that the person searching for you must be given some sort of bonus structure otherwise they’ll never, ever find you something so as to keep their own job security.

    It’s a vicious circle, isn’t it?

    • If they don’t find me a job in 3 months, they get the axe. However, they get a bonus for every interview I land and an additional big bonus for an actual job.
      Easy peasy lemon squeezey!

  3. I was really lazy with my tweets last night. Just a lot of ‘insert funny comment here’ and ‘my my I’m being really funny in your imaginations today’ etc etc. To be honest as I didn’t have anything to say I could have probably just not tweeted but I was drinking and when I drink I feel inclined to tweet excessively.

  4. Maybe you could market yourself to others and apply for jobs for *them*! I’m sure people would pay for someone to fill out all of those 30-45 minute online applications that everyone makes you do. Problem solved!

  5. One of your tweets makes an entire day of my tweets look like they’re on welfare waiting for the cheque. I fear Twitter yet can’t stay away!
    Particularly enjoyed this one: Heavy whipping cream is a perfectly reasonable substitute for milk in your morning smoothie.

  6. I may be a little late on this, but according to the USA Today, 38% of people stricken by the Heidelberg salmonella strain have been hospitalized. Count your lucky turkey burgers.

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