I only started running a year and a half ago. The most expensive piece of workout gear I own are my running shoes, I run with a $10 digital watch from Target. Judging from those things, I would say I’m probably as low-maintenance as you can get when it comes to running.
But from me to you all, an open letter to pedestrians.
I see you there, casually ambling down my sidewalk. Walking towards me, moving away, it matters not.
All of this adds up to mean that my way of running? Is not peaceful. So don’t give me that look of surprise when you finally Face Reality. You didn’t know I was coming? LIAR. I do not sound like the wind in the trees.
It is so thrilling to try and figure out where you will deign to tread next.
Do not make your problems mine.
And I think it is so cool that even though you have absolutely no intention of walking into oncoming traffic, when you and Your Pack monopolize the sidewalk, you try to make me do it.
You should know that your off-leash dog scares the S*** out of me. It’s probably scaring all of those moms with their would-be bike riding tots too. So let’s just agree that you stop doing that effective: yesterday.
Sometimes you’re teaching your child how to ride a bike and so you give me the stare of death, because to you my fairly slow pace comes off like a freight train. If you could see behind my sunglasses, you’d see me giving you the stare of death right back because you refuse to put a helmet on your three year old.