Guest Post: An Open Letter to Pedestrians

This guest post is brought to you by Kat.  I am in town for her wedding and we have already started the celebration.  In between getting married and Living, she blogs about food, fashion, and fitness.  Enjoy.

I only started running a year and a half ago.  The most expensive piece of workout gear I own are my running shoes, I run with a $10 digital watch from Target.  Judging from those things, I would say I’m probably as low-maintenance as you can get when it comes to running.

But from me to you all, an open letter to pedestrians.

Pedestrian,

I see you there, casually ambling down my sidewalk.  Walking towards me, moving away, it matters not.

I’m a mouth breather.  A Mouth Breather.  Even if my footsteps sounded more like a fairy’s and less like a Clydesdale, you’d still hear me coming up behind you on the sidewalk.  Because if I’m not busy huffing and puffing, I’m probably occupying myself with the odd cough.  Or gas.

All of this adds up to mean that my way of running?  Is not peaceful.  So don’t give me that look of surprise when you finally Face Reality.  You didn’t know I was coming?  LIAR.  I do not sound like the wind in the trees.

Sometimes you sport those gaucho pants that are so circa 2004.  Sometimes you rock a tye-dyed tee from Camp Christmas Tree 1998.  There’s nothing that warms my heart more than when you give me that Michael Scott-esque oops look as you and your three friends aimlessly wander the beaten path.  Sometimes you walk in a line, other times you scatter like leaves in the wind.

It is so thrilling to try and figure out where you will deign to tread next.

I love how when you are walking two or three abreast, rather than arrange yourselves into a single-file fashion, you prefer to martyr yourselves and Walk In The Grass.

Do not make your problems mine.

And I think it is so cool that even though you have absolutely no intention of walking into oncoming traffic, when you and Your Pack monopolize the sidewalk, you try to make me do it.

Pass.

I would sooner run into you head-on.

You should know that your off-leash dog scares the S*** out of me.  It’s probably scaring all of those moms with their would-be bike riding tots too.  So let’s just agree that you stop doing that effective: yesterday.

Sometimes you’re teaching your child how to ride a bike and so you give me the stare of death, because to you my fairly slow pace comes off like a freight train.  If you could see behind my sunglasses, you’d see me giving you the stare of death right back because you refuse to put a helmet on your three year old.

Happy Trails,

Kat