Today in Tweets

I went to the farmers market today and was able to get three vases chock full of flowers for $10!

Cheese fondue is on the menu tonight.  Mark Bittman don’t fail me now!

My dog bit a dead and bloody bird.  I asked my friends if it was kosher to 409 her mouth.  Their response?  Only if a rabbi does it.

I watched 1/2 of Bye Bye Birdie today before I realized my childhood favorite was actually the crappy 1995 made-for-tv remake starring Jason Alexander and NOT the 1960s Dik Van Dyke classic.  I was singing along to all of the songs, but something didn’t feel right.

Cookies made with anything less than 2 sticks of butter are not worth my time.

I’m pretty sure my neighbors have been drunk since 8am.  Occasionally I go out on the balcony and cheers them.  California is different than Minnesota.

I read the first 5 pages of an Australian novel before realizing I had no idea what the fook it was about.  Essentially, I can’t read accents?

My mom’s recipe for margaritas is killer.  It will make you share “truths”.

Taking your pre-coffee morning rage out on somebody else’s Facebook wall is embarrassing.

A bacon-wrapped hot dog covered in fried onions is a totally acceptable breakfast, as long as you pretend you bought it for your boyfriend.

Part of me hates shag carpet, the other part of me is really happy that I never ever have to vacuum.


What are your tweets for today?




One thought on “Today in Tweets

  1. 1. Agree 100% on the cookie issue. Give me butter or give me death.

    2. I rented West Side Story when my mom visited. She loves musicals. We both remembered loving this years ago. This time, we both about fell asleep. When it was over, we looked at each other and said, “Wow… I don’t remember this being so boring.”

    3. 409-ing Josie’s mouth… RUN, JOSIE! RUN!!!

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