Bridesmaid Tralala

Hello Lovelies,

Tonight I had the honor of attending a bridal party dress shopping extravaganza at David’s Bridal. The trip was quite the experience, as I have only ever been to one wedding, let alone been in the bridal party.
While others were trying on black sparkly and pink frilly numbers, I was somehow stuck with the leftovers.
You might think, “Oh leftovers at a dress shop, that can’t be too bad.” You thought wrong. It can be v-e-r-y bad.

The first dress I tried on was seafoam green. I can’t hate on seafoam that much because my house used to be seafoam…oh wait, yes I can. Seafoam doesn’t look good on any human being. Seafoam is a color that should have been left behind in the 80s, but has somehow wormed its way into the 21st century.
The second dress I tried on was neon orange. Am I missing something? Who thinks planning their wedding around neon is a good idea? Aren’t they worried about frightening children and blinding grandmas?
The third and final dress I tried on was black (thank god), but was only available in a size 26. SIZE 26. . . That be a BIG dress. It looked like a tarp!

Overall, I don’t think I was any help in the decision making process, as I was mostly making sarcastic jokes and attempting to pair the wildest color sashes to make the dresses even more hideous. I’m excited to see a normal-sized black dress with pink sash. Twill be lovely.

-M

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